Mind the Gap

We’re taking a break for Ladyfest Cardiff this weekend.

Mind the Gap are hosting the “Feminism and Erotica” workshop and the feminist t-shirt making project, so do come and say hello if you’re at the event.

Check in next week to read about our adventures at the festival.

I wanted to ask this question, really in response to , or by way of extending the discussion that naturally falls from winters recent post on blogging hostility. I’ve had a look through some of the postings, some of the commenting and find that there is an element within, what is obviously a complex problem, of wanting to be right.

It’s always nice to feel like one is correct. Many of our attitudes, our values and beliefs are eventually decided once we decide on our own world view of what is right and what is wrong, and all the things that fall in between these two posts. We then go on to build up our evidence to support these positions. Statistics, anecdotes, quotations and philosophies all get entangled, connected in a great web of things that support our attitudes. Things that support our view that something is right, that something is wrong, or that something is complicated, is metaphorically grey.

After all that cognitive and emotional effort, invested in knowing what is right and what is wrong, it can be very unsettling to discover that other people don’t agree, that something you think is right, they think is grey, or even wrong. Tempers flare, words are thrown (stones if you are close enough). But that is the nature of debate and that is why this blog is here, for debate, to challenge people’s views, to challenge our own views and to move femisnism, little by little, forwards. If I wanted just to be right all the time I could blog about anything, I could blog about the tiny area of psychology that I am coming to know well, and be sure that I would know more about than most of the people reading, and so I would be right. Being right isn’t the whole story, In fact being wrong is part of the pleasure of debte, and when I say pleasure, I mean it. We have freedom of speech here, not everyone has that luxury. Reading some of the comments by some people I wonder if being right is the most important thing, and the feminism is an arena in which egos can battle it out. A talking shop.

My questions, on the back of all that rambling is;

Is feminism relevant?

Where is it relevant?
To who is feminism relevant?
If not how can it be made relevant?

If the anger, hostility and hurt expressed around the feminist blog community in recent days reveals anything, it’s the fact that we have a serious problem with dialogue and communication. Clearly, it is very difficult for people to disagree and engage with each other on important issues respectfully and constructively. Having indulged in some of the bitching, I don’t exclude myself from this problem. I have no solutions, so I’m just going to throw out a few thoughts and questions.

Why is feminist dialogue so difficult?
Why can’t we disagree respectfully without insulting each other?
Why do things get so deeply personal?

Is it partly a problem with the blogging medium?

It is very easy to forget that there is a real person with feelings behind the pseudonymous name and we lose so much, in the cold type, that is part of personal human communication. It is also very easy for posts and comments to be interpreted as offensive whatever the intention of the writer and, when people respond angrily, things kick off very quickly and spiral into a fight, although there are also people who’s intentions are unmistakable. Still, in the 11 or so years that I’ve been involved in feminism, I have never seen anything like the infighting I’ve observed on feminist blogs. In personal group situations, I find that feminists of different persuasions are generally well able to communicate ideas and opinions without any eye gouging. That said, perhaps I’ve just been lucky and of course I’m well aware of a long history of passionate feminist fighting, especially over certain issues deemed to be of special importance to the movement. So, perhaps it is inevitable and we’re just going to have to fight it out for a while yet.

The question of dialogue is particularly pertinent here because, as we keep saying until you’re probably sick of it, we set this blog up as a space to discuss feminism. Now we’re wondering if we were a little bit naïve and are very aware that the hoped for discussion has not really transpired. This raises important questions for us:

Are feminists at all interested in dialogue with feminists who don’t agree with them?

Does the fact that a lot of people out here plainly cannot stand each others’ guts render discussion impossible, because it gets to the stage when even speaking to someone is read as putting you in their camp?

If so, the general aim of this blog is called into serious question.

Or, is it just the case that we’re not doing it right and haven’t configured this space in such a way as to facilitate the kind discussion we want?

We have no problem with traffic. We get about 100 hits a day here, which exceeds our wildest expectations for a small and slightly haphazard blog. But, in relation to the readership, we get relatively few comments. If people prefer to read and lurk that’s absolutely fine, but again it raises questions about our discussion agenda. We have wondered if we should write more provocative posts to spark debate, but we certainly don’t want to encourage fighting and nastiness.

We also note that there’s been a deathly silence in response to the new discussion rules, so we have no idea if they’re ok or not. When we posted them we were aware that in seeking to protect everyone, we might not be pleasing anyone or, worse, offending pretty much everyone!

Perhaps we don’t want dialogue and community building. Perhaps we want fights. Well, at least we should be honest enough to admit that bitching can be a lot of fun, but are the resulting thrashathons productive? Some people say yes, but I’m not at all sure I agree.

Interestingly, we’ve only had one serious disagreement in MTG and it was over whether the group was going to be inclusive of all people who identified as feminists or whether we were going to adhere to a more specific feminist politics. At the time we didn’t know why were all so riled up about it, but now I think I’m starting to understand the significance of the argument.

Over to you.

Nubian has a very timely post about hostility in the blogging community which most (edit: or, at least, quite a few) of us could probably do with reading.

Ok, so I’ve been doing a bit of lurking recently and this is the thing that has really struck my most.

So to open a nice fat can of worms, why is it that LGBT experience is pretty much always left out of discussions of womens sexuality unless in specifically LGBT forum?

This blog is a year old today.

Considering that we started it on a whim as an experimental addition to our other group activities we think it’s been pretty successful. We have found feminist blogging immensely educational and it’s really helped us to develop our own feminist agenda.

Thanks to everyone who reads and comments here.

Via Sour Duck’s Link blog I came across this thoughtful response to the great blow job war of 2006. I think the whole kerfuffle raises a lot of important questions, not so much about blow jobs, as about feminist priorities and feminist leadership within the blogging community. I will try and tease out some of these issues at some point.

For now, I feel it’s time to get some perspective. Yes, sexual desires and practices are as worthy of feminist analysis as anything else, but in the US Ohio is considering a total abortion ban. Meanwhile, here in the UK, victims of rape continue to be tormented and intimidated in the courtroom.

Box of feminist post cards

Finally, we have something to show for all the work.

Well done everyone involved!

As promised, here’s the material for our little campaign to promote feminism. These images are going to be printed as postcards and distributed around Cardiff. They are now at the printers, so please don’t suggest changes. It’s too late! The tone is supposed to be light, humorous and a tiny bit provocative because we’re aiming at people who don’t identify as feminists.

It was difficult to decide which statistics to use. We didn’t want to do anything too frightening (i.e rape) and decided that earnings are an issue for most people. I just love the skull.

Just a simple dictionary definition, but always worth reiterating. In this card and the one below we made a little play on that “I’m not a feminist, but …” line we all love so much.

Naiades came up with this one. It’s trying to question the common refusal, among young women, to identify as feminists, by drawing attention to the rights they do generally seem to assume they deserve these days, rights which are still limited, but which continue to be fought for by feminists.

We just love this image because it’s cheeky and sweet and I think it sums up the general group ethos/mentality better than anything.

A very big thank you to our designer who is doing this work pro bono for the love of feminism.

As you know, Ladyfest is happening in Cardiff from 29th June - 2nd July. It’s going to be a great creative weekend, but the organisers still need people to volunteer. If you’re in South Wales and coming to the event, if would be wonderful if you could give some time to help out. We need people to sit on the door and just do general run around stuff - the more people there are, the less work there is for everyone. You will get free entry in return. If you can help, please email Ladyfestcardiff(AT)riseup(dot)net